How to win the intramural soccer t-shirt
Hayden Bird '09
Issue date: 2/20/08 Section: Sports
As another intramural soccer season begins, hopes run high around campus that the championship, having proven so elusive for many, will finally be captured.
The games, played at the Clark Center, are comprised of 6 v 6 soccer where each team has five field players and one goalie. Playing 15 minute halves leaves just enough time for goals to be scored while not overtaxing the players.
Since varsity soccer is now out of season, many players have once again thrown their very capable hats into the intramural ring. The obvious early candidate for the championship has to be a team possessing several of the following qualities:
1. A 'Red Army' attitude and 40 players. This helps with depth issues as well as possible problems should one of the players hold-out for bigger contract.
2. There are at least three people on the team who are over 220 pounds. The advantage for this is obvious, because even though officiating is better, certain games still have a propensity to see more elbowing than the front row of a Rage Against the Machine reunion concert.
3. One of your players grew up in South America or Western Europe. Having two or more of them is better though.
4. The goalie is related to Jim Craig . Really, it just helps if whoever it is can be supplied with gloves.
5. Someone with no social life takes the time to be the team manager. For anyone who does this, you get a tip of the cap. And if you're really good, you'll have a hoodie made with the team logo that you can cut the sleeves off of.
6. You have the rare combination of out of season varsity soccer players as well as kids who used to play on the soccer team but don't anymore. This is like the perfect loophole to the "only two varsity soccer players on the field at the same time" rule. Really there should be a rule against this, like any former player who has a varsity cap should count as half a varsity player .
Of course, any team has a puncher's chance once the playoffs role around. With the adrenaline going and the general fluky nature of intramural sports, anything can happen.
The games, played at the Clark Center, are comprised of 6 v 6 soccer where each team has five field players and one goalie. Playing 15 minute halves leaves just enough time for goals to be scored while not overtaxing the players.
Since varsity soccer is now out of season, many players have once again thrown their very capable hats into the intramural ring. The obvious early candidate for the championship has to be a team possessing several of the following qualities:
1. A 'Red Army' attitude and 40 players. This helps with depth issues as well as possible problems should one of the players hold-out for bigger contract.
2. There are at least three people on the team who are over 220 pounds. The advantage for this is obvious, because even though officiating is better, certain games still have a propensity to see more elbowing than the front row of a Rage Against the Machine reunion concert.
3. One of your players grew up in South America or Western Europe. Having two or more of them is better though.
4. The goalie is related to Jim Craig . Really, it just helps if whoever it is can be supplied with gloves.
5. Someone with no social life takes the time to be the team manager. For anyone who does this, you get a tip of the cap. And if you're really good, you'll have a hoodie made with the team logo that you can cut the sleeves off of.
6. You have the rare combination of out of season varsity soccer players as well as kids who used to play on the soccer team but don't anymore. This is like the perfect loophole to the "only two varsity soccer players on the field at the same time" rule. Really there should be a rule against this, like any former player who has a varsity cap should count as half a varsity player .
Of course, any team has a puncher's chance once the playoffs role around. With the adrenaline going and the general fluky nature of intramural sports, anything can happen.
Be the first to comment on this story