Sex and the Dimple: Comfort food for thought
Tanya Kollar '08
Issue date: 2/27/08 Section: Features
"Remember: the only things we need sometimes are chilly nights and warmer thighs, 'cause nothing's like being held." In these lyrics to the song "Hold," Saves the Day does a damn good job of summing up one of the main elements that makes relationships so wonderful. Sure, relationships bring fights, jealousy, and sometimes suffocation, but all that seems to fade away the moment you slip under the covers with your special someone and enter into that utterly blissful state of comfort that keeps us all coming back for more.
Obviously if cuddling is all you have left in a relationship you should probably find another bed and another, more compatible mate, but things get a little more complex when the comfort you revel in is emotional rather than physical. I've found that emotional comfort can keep otherwise disastrous relationships alive way past their expiration date.
From my experience, relationships usually begin with passion, continue with love, and end up in comfort. This ease and stability of an enduring relationship isn't always a bad thing - sometimes it just adds to the other pros that make staying together worthwhile. When I find myself on the phone with my best friend at 3 a.m., hearing the sob sprinkled reasons she shouldn't be with her boyfriend anymore countered by phrases like, "But I could never break up with him, we've been through so much," I realize how destructive such a seemingly benign thing as comfort can be.
If you find yourself stuck in a relationship based more on comfort than genuine compatibility, please take my advice: When the comfort door closes, a window of opportunity opens. Take advantage of it, whether by enjoying yourself for a while or finding someone who provides more than just loving arms and longevity.
Obviously if cuddling is all you have left in a relationship you should probably find another bed and another, more compatible mate, but things get a little more complex when the comfort you revel in is emotional rather than physical. I've found that emotional comfort can keep otherwise disastrous relationships alive way past their expiration date.
From my experience, relationships usually begin with passion, continue with love, and end up in comfort. This ease and stability of an enduring relationship isn't always a bad thing - sometimes it just adds to the other pros that make staying together worthwhile. When I find myself on the phone with my best friend at 3 a.m., hearing the sob sprinkled reasons she shouldn't be with her boyfriend anymore countered by phrases like, "But I could never break up with him, we've been through so much," I realize how destructive such a seemingly benign thing as comfort can be.
If you find yourself stuck in a relationship based more on comfort than genuine compatibility, please take my advice: When the comfort door closes, a window of opportunity opens. Take advantage of it, whether by enjoying yourself for a while or finding someone who provides more than just loving arms and longevity.
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